It’ll take a lot of time, but you have to learn to accept yourself. Realize that I didn‘t say love yourself, rather accept yourself. Confidence is something you have to fake until you believe it. Why do I say this? Because I never used to think I was fat, but repeating it to myself everyday all day made me believe it. If I could make myself believe I was fat and ugly, you can surely make yourself believe you’re confident and comfortable with yourself.
I don’t know what you’ve been through. Even if you explain it to me in great detail I’ll never feel what you’ve gone through and all of your emotions. But all I know is that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Nothing lasts forever. Your pain won’t last forever unless you let it take over. Your misery and suicidal idealization won’t last forever unless you let it take over.
You want to be happy. That I know. No one wants to sit in misery and self-pity and end up ending their lives because of it. If no one around you wants to help you achieve happiness then fuck them. Some things you have to do yourself, and that’s climbing a steep mountain when all you want to do is let go. That sort of courage you have to build yourself, and you and I both know it’ll be worth it.
Whether you believe it or not, you have to repeat it to yourself: “I am strong and I am worth it.” Repeat it in your head before you go to bed at night; repeat it in your head when you get up in the morning. Gather the courage to look in the mirror and say those words out loud. When something shitty happens in your life, have a good cry, repeat those words, and keep your back tall.
It sounds stupid and cliche. I know. But you’ll realize that somehow and sometime you’ll become used to saying these things to yourself. Fill your head with positivity and you’ll find positivity. Block out all the negativity in your life and focus on the good rather than the bad. You won’t learn to absolutely love yourself, but you’ll find a happy and comfortable medium.
You may be just an anonymous face on the internet to me, but I really do care about you. I’m concerned about you and I want you to feel happy. When you feel like no one (even online) cares about you or talks to you or likes you, just remember that I do. DO NOT feel like you’re bothering me if you want to talk to me, because I’ll always want to talk to you. You’ll never bother me coming to me with your problems. I want to help you.
Please stay strong. It’s the hardest thing you can do, but you’re going to be stronger after and realize that it was worth it after all.